Low-Effort Touchpoints
The highest-ROI relationship habits take less than 5 minutes. Small gestures, done consistently, keep connections alive without draining your time or energy.
The "Thinking of You" Effect
People don't remember the format of your interaction. They don't remember whether you called for 45 minutes or sent a 10-second voice note. What they remember is that you reached out at all. A quick "saw this and thought of you" message triggers the same warm feeling as a long catch-up call. The signal is identical: "You matter to me. I'm paying attention to your life." Most relationships don't fade because of a lack of deep conversation — they fade because of a lack of any contact at all.
Why 2-Minute Touchpoints Work
We overestimate how much effort relationships require. We think maintaining a friendship means scheduling dinner, finding two hours for a phone call, or planning a visit. So we do nothing — because the bar feels too high.
But relationship science tells a different story. Frequency of contact is a stronger predictor of relationship closeness than duration of contact. Ten quick interactions across a month create more felt connection than one long call every three months. The reason is simple: regular touchpoints keep you top-of-mind. You stay in someone's mental "active contacts" list instead of drifting into the "people I used to know" category.
10x
quick touches per month
Feels close
1x
long call per quarter
Feels distant
0x
waiting for the "right time"
Fades away
The Touchpoint Catalog
Every one of these takes under 2 minutes. No scheduling, no preparation, no excuses.
React to their stories
5 secondsA quick reaction to an Instagram or Facebook story. It says "I saw this" without any pressure to start a conversation.
Forward an article or meme
30 secondsSee something they'd find funny or interesting? Send it. The subtext is "I know you well enough to know you'd like this."
"Saw this, thought of you"
30 secondsThe most powerful five words in relationship maintenance. A photo of a restaurant, a product, a place — anything that connects to a shared memory or their interests.
Birthday and milestone messages
1 minuteA personal birthday message stands out. Even better: acknowledge non-birthday milestones like promotions, moves, or personal wins.
Congratulate achievements
30 secondsWhen someone posts about an achievement, a genuine congratulations costs you nothing and means a lot. Most people scroll past — don't.
Send a voice note
1 minuteMore personal than a text, less demanding than a phone call. Voice notes convey tone and warmth in a way text can't. Perfect for "just checking in."
Share a photo
30 secondsA throwback photo, a screenshot of an old chat, a picture from a shared experience. Visual triggers spark memories and warm feelings instantly.
Reply to something they shared
1 minuteWhen someone shares something publicly — an opinion, a recommendation, a question — engaging with it shows you're paying attention to their life.
Build Touchpoints Into Existing Routines
The best touchpoint habit is one that piggybacks on something you already do. You don't need to set aside "relationship maintenance time" — you need to make existing dead time slightly more intentional.
Morning scroll
While checking social media over coffee, react to 2-3 stories and send one "thought of you" message. You're already scrolling — make it count.
Commute
Send a voice note or quick check-in text to someone you haven't spoken to recently. Dead time becomes relationship maintenance.
Lunch break
Forward one interesting article or meme to someone who'd appreciate it. Takes 30 seconds between bites.
Evening wind-down
Reply to messages you didn't get to during the day. Respond to a friend's post or congratulate someone on a win.
When Low-Effort Isn't Enough
Low-effort touchpoints maintain healthy connections — they don't repair broken ones or support people through crises. Recognise when a relationship needs you to show up with more than a quick message:
- They're going through something difficult (grief, illness, breakup, job loss)
- The relationship has tension or unresolved conflict
- You haven't connected in months and a meme would feel strange
- They've reached out with something vulnerable or important
- It's one of your closest relationships — your inner circle needs real presence
- You sense distance growing that quick messages aren't bridging
In these moments, make the call. Schedule the visit. Write the long message. Low-effort touchpoints are for maintenance — not for the moments that define a relationship.
Making It Stick with Tormel
Streak Goals
Create a daily or weekly streak goal like "Send one touchpoint message." The streak mechanic turns relationship maintenance into a visual chain you don't want to break.
Promise System
When a touchpoint leads to a commitment — "I'll send you that recipe" or "Let's grab coffee next week" — log it as a promise. Small follow-throughs build massive trust.
People & Birthdays
Track important dates so you never miss a birthday or anniversary. These are the highest-impact touchpoints — a timely message on someone's special day goes a long way.